Today I closed my eyes and picked a random song on my iPod to play while I got ready to work on my painting. I was thinking of her, and how I miss her so much. Mutemath, "Okay" came on.
I thought about how she's completely uninterested in my life and who I am anymore. With her, it's quite the opposite. I think of her daily and want so badly to know if she is happy or what new art she is making and if her love cup is full. It makes me so sad I sometimes forget what day it is or what to pray.
I'm pretty sure God understands, and that he gets what it's like to love someone with your whole heart and in return get a three sentence email… every six months… I cried. Then I danced. Then I could pray for her. It was a short prayer, but it was all I could muster this morning.
1 comment:
hi rachel, I randomly found you through facebook, I'm friends with the Erwin brothers and am excited for you all about the movie. I just wanted to say thank you for this. I understand without understanding, and after having gone through something similar to this for two years with my best friend, God restored what I thought was completely and forever unfixable. Be encouraged, and I will pray that He allows you to see His hand in this sorrow, for good, for His purposes in your life. <3
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